Photograph
by Soul Flash
Summary: Kyle goes to the last person he would ever ask for help. One-shot. Kyman.


A/N: Okay, so this is the other one-shot that I was talking about that I don't like as much. Or... not at all, really. Mainly because of the length and how it didn't come out the way I had originally intended. What I was originally going for was a theme off of another themes list that was based on 'learning by doing.' But by the time I had gotten to that part where I wanted Cartman to teach Kyle, it was already way too long. And since I was going for more of a short one-shot, I morphed the idea into something else. That probably makes no sense at all, so i'll stop trying to explain it. XD Just enjoy the story.

And since I've forgotten to do this several times, I'm doing it now; special thanks to Angelic Guardian for being my beta for this. She gave me ideas for this that made the fic that much less awkward. Thanks, hun!

Disclaimer: I don't own South Park.

Warnings: The usual Kyman. A more innocent kiss than in 'Fever,' but hey, a kiss is a kiss, right? ;D

* * *

Kyle was freaking out. Really freaking out. He only had two more days to produce a picture fantastic enough to earn him an 'A,' and everything he had already shown to his teacher was shot down in a heartbeat. Really, what in the hell was this guy looking for?!

Seriously, this was supposed to be an easy class! Something that he chose to take as a senior year class, not only in order to get the art credit that was required to graduate, but something that he could pass with flying colors! Not some stupid class with a dumb ass teacher who obviously had something against him because he was such a-!

He growled under his breath, pounding his fist on the desk. It irritated him to no end. That was only the half of it, too. It didn't help that the one person he actually hated shared the class with him, and was making an 'A' in the damned course.

"I should be making that 'A,' not him!" Kyle muttered bitterly under his breath. He could feel his head heat up in sheer anger as he gritted his teeth together.

No. He wasn't going to think about Cartman right now. He wasn't worth his thoughts; not now, not ever. It wouldn't help his dilemma anyway. If anything, it would only serve to piss him off more.

But he did have to admit that he was doing well in the class. Really well, which was as much a surprise to him as it was to everyone else. Cartman usually did terrible in his classes, barely scraping by with a 'C' by the end of exams. He cared about school almost as much as he cared about eating healthy. For some reason, though, he was really interested in this photography course. Sure, it helped that he already seemed to have a good grasp with film and cameras and all of that other stuff, but he also seemed to really... well, be into it.

Not to mention the fact that Cartman was acting stranger and stranger around him each and everyday. He could have been reading way too much into this, but Kyle suspected something really... odd about the way Cartman acted towards him especially. His taunts weren't as harsh or frequent as they used to be, leaving Kyle to think that he was actually attempting to be -as strange as it sounded- nice to him. Like he was trying to be friends with Kyle. The exact reason as to why he was doing this was something Kyle couldn't pinpoint, but he could only figure that Cartman was setting himself up to eventually get under Kyle's skin. It would probably just end up being one of his tricks, so Kyle couldn't let his guard down just yet.

Still, if Cartman was trying to act generous to him, maybe Kyle could use that to his advantage. As much as he hated doing that, it really wouldn't give him as much of a guilt trip because it was Cartman. And considering how well he was doing in class...

Maybe he could help him...

Kyle snapped his head up, blinking and shaking his head like there was a spider in his hair. What in the hell was he thinking?! _Him_ ask _Cartman_ for help?! He mentally slapped himself for even thinking about that. The day he would ask Cartman for help would be the day hell froze over. Seriously. It was always the other way around. Except... Cartman never exactly asked for Kyle's help, per se. He more like begged and whined, ripping Kyle's homework out of his hands when he wouldn't hand it over.

Kyle sighed again and pulled at his red curls in frustration, leaning his elbow on his computer desk. Chancing a glance up at the computer screen again, he winced as he saw the blank slate staring him in the face. He winced again when he looked at the bottom of the screen, the clock telling him that it was way past the time he intended to go to sleep at.

He bit his lip, his eyes darting down to his phone. His stomach sunk as he realized how much time he was wasting just sitting here, struggling to come up with something. If he wasn't on such bad terms with Cartman, though he was putting up this faux charade of being nice, he would call him...

But he had his pride. There was no way in hell that he was going to admit that Cartman was in some way better than him. Especially in something school related. It wasn't right that Cartman was getting better grades than him in such a seemingly simple class. Sure, Kyle was maybe a little artistically challenged (he was really more of a left brain thinker), but that couldn't be the reason that Cartman could beat him! He was always better than Cartman no matter what, he should be the one-!

Kyle paused, furrowing his eyebrows in realization. Maybe he was being delusional here. As hard as it was for him to admit, maybe there was a class out there that was meant to actually challenge him. Maybe this class was it. And maybe...

Cartman _was_ better than him at something.

He rolled his eyes, growling again under his breath. Why was he letting this get to him now? He really needed to get to work on this picture...

Moving his hand awkwardly over the mouse, he opened the picture up and gave it a good look. He pushed the criteria sheet over in front of him, scanning it over next. 'A picture that evokes an emotion through a combination of color, repetition,-'

"...and balance." Kyle mumbled to himself, his eyebrows knitting even tighter together. Right, and how in the fuck was he supposed to do that? It's not like the teacher ever explained that to them. Apparently you had to know all of this crap on your own, or learn it from someone else.

Kyle's eyes darted over to his cellphone again. He quickly looked away and gritted his teeth, telling himself, "No, you are _not_ calling him, Kyle. Just forget it."

Ten more minutes had passed by, he noticed, and he let out a louder, frustrated grunt. Three minutes until midnight. And to think, he still had a chemistry test to study for. Not that he was really worried about that... he always made high grades on the tests, with or without studying. He just really didn't want to do this right now...

Swallowing thickly, he leaned back in his chair and groaned again, twirling back and forth lightly in a small fit of refusal. He didn't want to do this. He so didn't want to do this at all. And he sure as hell didn't want to call Cartman.

But with each minute that passed by, his stomach sank even more because he realized that he had to do it whether he liked it or not. If he didn't do it, he would only have one day left, and he was smart enough to know that wasn't enough to come up with an 'A' worthy photo. And knowing that made his stomach churn because if he dared to go to sleep now, that thought of incompletion would nag and bite at his mind until he went insane-

Before he could stop himself, he was picking up his phone, flipping it open and scrolling down his contacts list. His finger lingered on the 'call' button before he pressed it in firmly, holding the phone up to his ear as he waited patiently through the dial tone. It wouldn't surprise him if he didn't pick up-

"Jew?" came Cartman's gruff voice from the other end. It was a mix of confusion and shock, something that was to be expected. It wasn't like Kyle to call him so late at night. Hell, it wasn't really like him to call him ever. "What do you want?" However, this could be the opportunity that he had been waiting for. His lips turned up in a smile, more of a goofy grin than anything as he awaited Kyle's answer.

Kyle took in a deep breath, now cursing himself for what he got himself into. No going back now, though. "Cartman, I need your help." he stated firmly, his lips pressing together in a tight line.

He wasn't surprised when he heard a chuckle on the other end. "What?" Cartman snorted. Though he was acting distant and arrogant, Cartman couldn't honestly be happier that Kyle had called him. It sounded totally gay, -mainly because it was- but Cartman's heart began to race faster when he began to realize how much he had missed Kyle's voice. His whiny little Jew voice... God, he was falling in deeper each and everyday.

Kyle felt his upper lip twitch a little, but he ignored it. So much for him acting nice to him. Maybe he had forgotten? "I said I need your help." He said the sentence even more firmly this time, a snarl creeping into his tone.

"Oh, but what could you possibly need my help with?" Cartman cooed in mockery. He couldn't help the shiver that went down his spine as Kyle's assertive voice reached his ears. Thank god they were on the phone where Kyle couldn't see his reactions; he was more than thankful he was able to keep his composure together as this was going on. "You're the perfect little valedictorian Jew who knows anything and everything."

"Don't push me, asshole!" Kyle spat, gripping his phone in his hand.

"I'm not the one asking for help." Cartman reminded slyly, the smirk evident in his voice.

When this was said, Kyle immediately clamped his mouth shut for a moment. God, of all the times for the asshole to be right...

He opened his mouth to speak again, "Look, will you just help me out here?!" It came out a little harsher than he intended, but he couldn't help it. When Cartman pissed him off, it was hard for him to calm back down.

"I dunno," Cartman drawled, a slight yawn coming through, "What's in it for me?"

Kyle did a slight double-take before growling again. There was always something-! "Why does there have to be anything in it for you?! Can't you just be nice for once and help me out?!"

This was a stupid question to ask. Of course Cartman wouldn't help him out of sheer kindness; that was just unheard of. There was no hint of kindness at all in Cartman, so it was basically impossible. Especially not right now. Seriously, what in the hell was Kyle on when he was thinking that Cartman was trying to act decent to him? Because he sure as hell wasn't acting that way now.

False hope maybe?

...No. No way. There was no way Kyle was hoping Cartman would try to be friends with him. No way.

"Uh, no?" Cartman said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "You have to at least give me something first."

"Okay, okay, what do you want?" Kyle huffed, losing his patience fast.

"Hm... let's see..." Cartman hummed, probably tapping his chin in thought on the other end of the line. Kyly rolled his eyes again, stomach churning slightly as he could only imagine what Cartman would come up with. "I want you to... come to school in a dress, and tell everyone that you're my bitch." He paused a second before adding, "And suck my balls."

When Cartman finished his demand, he couldn't help the large smile creeping its way across his face. He would like that so much. Oh so much... His heart began to beat faster in his own adrenaline rush. He knew that he was probably pushing the envelope here with Kyle, but it was all a part of his plan. As clueless as he seemed to act most of the time, he could see that Kyle was more than suspecting of his nice charade. Though it mostly wasn't a charade in any way...

Kyle's face flushed red in anger. "No way!" he barked into the phone, slamming his fist against the desk.

"Well, then, I guess I won't help you. Have fun with... whatever." he chuckled to himself. This was a bold move for him. As much as he hated the thought of Kyle hanging up now, considering that he was already so addicted to his voice and attitude, he had to do it for the sake of his character. If he wanted this to work out well, he had to play hard to get first.

Except... Kyle probably didn't even suspect that he liked him at all. Hell, Kyle probably didn't even like him back. Still, it didn't help to drop a few hints, right?

"No, wait!" Kyle said suddenly. Fearing that he would hear the click of a closing phone soon, he quickly said, "Fine. I'll..." he took in a deep breath, his pride hurting already, "I'll do what you want. Just help me out. Please?"

As soon as that word left his mouth, he was blinking in shock. There must be something possessing his mind because there's no way in hell he would have ever begged Cartman before. Maybe he really did need to get to sleep...

There was a moment's pause on the other end before Cartman spoke. "Okay, fine. If it'll get you off my ass..." he grumbled. "Be over here in five minutes or forget it." His heart leaped into his throat as he said this. He couldn't believe this. Seriously, this couldn't have worked out better! Kyle was actually...

Maybe this would all come together after all.

Five minutes?! "You asshole, you know it's going to take me longer than that!" Kyle snapped, clenching the phone in his hand.

"Well, then, you better shut the fuck up and get those skinny Jew legs moving." he snorted back in an arrogant manner, "See you in five." He closed the phone, taking a moment in silence before he started to laugh in pure joy. This was so fucking killer! Kyle was actually coming over to his house! He could actually see Kyle in the flesh, which was so totally better than just hearing this voice. Oh, he could barely contain himself. Maybe this was his chance. His one and only chance. And if it was, he had to make sure it went perfect.

"Douche bag..." Kyle muttered as he closed his phone. He quickly got up and snatched his coat off of the bed, struggling to get it over his body. Slipping into his shoes, he yanked his flash drive out of his computer and rushed out of his room. As quickly and quietly as he possibly could, he ran down the stairs, sliding out of the front door with relative ease. When he was sure it was closed, he began to sprint down the street with all the energy he could possibly muster.

In a matter of two minutes he managed to make it all the way over to Cartman's house. Panting heavily, he didn't take the time to wonder how he managed to get there so fast as he reached for the doorbell. He was stopped before he could press the button in, however.

"You dumb Jew!" came Cartman's hushed voice from above him. "Don't ring the fucking doorbell!" He moved away from the window he was standing at, disappearing into his room.

Kyle blinked in surprise, looking up at the window with a glare. "Well, would you be so kind as to open the door?! It's fucking freezing out he-!"

He jumped as the door suddenly opened in front of him, Cartman standing right behind it with a dark glare on his face. "Get in here, retard." he commanded, not giving Kyle much choice as he yanked him in by the arm. Closing the door behind them, he turned and continued to glare at Kyle. "Now what in the fuck do you want?"

Kyle held back a snarl, reminding himself that this was his only chance at getting help. "I need help with that picture for photography class." He swallowed, pausing for a second before he went on, "I've seen how well you're doing in it,- hell, you're the only person who's doing well in it- and I really, _really_ need your help because I don't want to fail because that means I won't graduate in the top of the class and that means-"

He was abruptly cut off as Cartman pressed a hand harshly against his mouth. How he wanted to do so much more... Staring down at him with that same angry glare, he said, "Jesus Christ, slow down. You're so obsessed about your fucking grades." he rolled his eyes. "I'll help you out."

At this Kyle blinked, more than shocked at what Cartman just said. "R-really? You... you will?"

"Yeah, if it'll get you to shut up and get off my case. Seriously, I was about to go to fucking sleep." He walked past Kyle to go up the stairs. It was hard for him to hold back the smirk, but somehow he managed. If he was right about Kyle's nature, and he was pretty sure he was, he wouldn't let him go just yet.

Kyle didn't follow, though. "Wait a minute. Why did you answer my call if you were about to go to sleep?"

Cartman's smirk became even harder to fight off. It was a good thing his back was turned to Kyle just now. Otherwise, he couldn't think he could keep this up. But as hard as it was, he had to. If he wanted his chance with Kyle that badly, he would have to set up his act now.

And he wanted that chance; he wanted it so bad; he had wanted it for several months now. He was so hopelessly in love...

Beginning part of his act, Cartman froze visibly at this before he gave his answer. "Because you would have given me hell about it like you always do." he scoffed, walking up the steps. "Now are you coming or not?"

"I don't give you hell!" Kyle retorted, still standing his ground.

Cartman spun on his heel, holding onto the railing with a hand as he turned. "Yes you do! You give me hell every single day of my fucking life!"

"Only because you start it!" Kyle countered, clenching his fists by his side. "I wouldn't bother you if you didn't try to start shit with me all the time! Hell, we could actually be _friends_ if it wasn't for you always trying to screw with me-"

"Shut. Up." Cartman snapped viciously, cutting Kyle off. His mind continued to precisely check off each move he made, this being his only shot to win Kyle over. His glare turned dangerous and dark in a heartbeat. Slowly, he descended back down the stairs, locking his dark, brown eyes with Kyle's. When he reached Kyle, he leaned in close to his face and snarled, "Don't you dare mention that to me ever again. Ever."

If Kyle were to say he wasn't scared at that moment, he would be lying. He shook a little as Cartman's dangerous eyes locked with his, legs unable to move because they were frozen in place. "C-Cartman, what-"

"Everyday I have to deal with the fact that we'll never be friends." Cartman cut him off again, pulling back to stand up straight, "I don't need to be reminded by you of all people."

Kyle took a second to let this sink in before he replied. "Cartman," he said, his voice the complete opposite of Cartman's bitter, angry one, "If you want to be friends-"

"No!" Cartman barked, cutting Kyle off once again. He threw his arms up in frustration as he paced away from Kyle. "It'll... it'll never be just friends, Kahl..." he sighed heavily, his back now turned. Yes. Yes! This was all going so perfectly!

Now Kyle was just confused. What in the hell was Cartman trying to get at? "Cartman, you don't know that."

"Yes... yes I do." He shook his head a few times before moving back to the stairs. "Look, let's just go work on that stupid picture of yours-"

"No, Cartman." Kyle interrupted this time, reaching out to grab Cartman's sleeve. "You obviously need more help than me right now. What's the matter with y-"

Before Kyle could finish that sentence, Cartman turned around again and kissed him full on the lips. So maybe it wasn't exactly part of his plan, but Cartman did it anyway. He just couldn't stand it anymore. Plus, since Kyle was acting so fucking clueless about all of this, he figured this would be the only real way to get his point across.

Compared to the way he had been acting, the kiss was very gentle and collected, something Kyle would have never expected from him. Of course, he wasn't exactly expecting to like it, either. But how could he not, especially with the way Cartman was slipping his tongue in his mouth?

So _that's_ what he was getting at...

Kyle melted a bit under Cartman's touch, forgetting for a minute why he was there in the first place, and even the fact that he and Cartman hated each other. He groaned a bit when Cartman wrapped an arm around his waist, pulling their bodies closer together. Just when he was getting into Cartman's rather gentle treatment, their lips moving softly together as Kyle began to actually kiss back, Cartman pulled away.

"That." Cartman breathed, looking at Kyle with soft eyes. "That's what's the matter."

Still shocked out of his mind and missing Cartman's lips already, Kyle simply stood there with his mouth agape. He tried to say something, anything, to make the situation less awkward, but his voice was lost.

Cartman took Kyle's silence as a bad thing. He had planned on this happening, though; he had warned himself ahead of time that this would happen. He just didn't think it would affect him this much. Closing his eyes, he turned his back to him and waved his hand. "Go ahead. Call me a fag. Yell at me for what I just did to you. Run back home and never speak to me again-"

"No." Kyle said firmly, again reaching over and grabbing Cartman's sleeve. He forced him to turn around, furrowing his eyebrows as he looked up at him. "I'm not going to do that."

"...Why?" Cartman said hesitantly, keeping his guard up. He wasn't sure what Kyle was doing yet, so he couldn't give in.

"Because," Kyle smirked, moving closer to place his hands on Cartman's shoulders, "I actually liked it." To prove his point, he raised himself up on his tiptoes to place a light kiss on Cartman's lips. "Now, can we go work on my picture, or do you need more help first?"

Cartman soon smirked deviously, leaning in to kiss Kyle again, nipping at his lower lip. "No, I think I need some more help. A lot more help."

Kyle hummed in approval as they made their way up the stairs, kissing lightly every few steps. Perhaps there still wasn't the guarantee that Cartman would get around to helping him with his photo, but Kyle didn't really mind anymore. He supposed he could live with a 'B.' It wasn't really so bad, really. Besides, maybe Cartman could waive a few grades for him because right now...

...he had more important things to do.

* * *

Haha~ Again, what they do after that is totally up for interpretation. Let that imagination of yours run wild. ;D I hope you at least liked it better than I did.

But whether you did or didn't like it, let me know why. And would you rather have a sweeter, more innocent kiss like in this story, or a hotter, more intense one like in 'Fever' (if you've read that one, of course)? In fact, which kiss did you think was better? And should I stick to longer one-shots that are more descriptive or shorter ones that give you that quick Kyman fix? Anything helps me a great deal, so I would appreciate it if you gave me just a little feedback. It doesn't have to be much, mind you. I know I ask a lot of questions. XD

Thanks for reading! Again, I really hope you enjoyed it!

Until next time,

-Soul


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